I’m writing…on a Monday. That can only mean one thing…kids are back in school. This post will be a lot different than our regular scheduled programing of farm chores, livestock, and garden updates. It’s going to be me. It’s going to be what I wrote about for years…parenting.
I CAN BREATHE
New little clean back to school clothes on that they have picked out, their hair “just right,” lunches packed with their favorite choices, bellies full from breakfast, and off they go.
I already know I’m going to sound like a horrible mother and I’m prepared for that. Truly. I can finally breathe. This season of life has been invigorating, exhausting, trying, joyous, and all the other adjectives you can think of. This summer has given me a run for my money.
I struggled (we struggled) with the idea of sending our kids back to public school this year. Not out of fear, but out of something else. I have this nagging feeling I’m supposed to be doing something else…teaching them at home, but I’m torn. This summer was filled with more sibling fights I have ever endured, a 16 year old who has headed off for the experience of a lifetime (to which he is thriving at-a full time school to which he lives at), a child who has a tough time controlling their emotions, mixed with farm life.
I’m mentally exhausted. I can handle all the manual labor (bring it on), but this constant refereeing of little people emotions…holy crap. I know this is all temporary and soon enough they will be bantering back and forth with normal conversations, but this season…woah.
I’m telling you all this so you know you’re not alone. To the mom who is relieved her children are back to school full time..I see you. To the mom who feels guilt for feeling that way…I see you. To the parent who is torn on wether or not it’s a safer place to learn within your four walls…I see you. To the dad who is fearful of what their children will learn at school…I also feel that too. You are not alone.
IT IS OK TO CHANGE YOUR PLAN AT ANY TIME
All of that above is to say…it’s ok to change your mind at any time. Something not working on your farm? Change it. Budget not working? Change it. You decide you would rather bring your kids home halfway through the school year? Do it. YOU are the parent. Not the government, not the school system, not your nosy neighbor…YOU are.
Those are the words I’m holding on to as I send my precious children off to school this year. Maybe you needed to hear it too? I don’t know what this next year will bring, but I will tell you that I have no problem changing our course if I feel it’s in the best interest of our children.
SIT BACK AND MAKE A CUP OF COFFEE (AND MAKE YOUR BED)
I had always known making my bed in the morning did something to the rest of my day, but I listened to Shaye’s podcast (season 8: episode 1) recently and I was reminded that I needed to incorporate that again into my schedule. There is something about accomplishing that simple task of making your bed fresh and new again that sets the tone for the day. And of course a fresh cup of coffee.
I have big plans for when the kids are in school. I have tons of sessions scheduled (which means a lot of travel time), we’re diving into YouTube, building a winter coop area for our chickens, getting the permanent garden area ready for next Spring, and renovating the kitchen little by little, and having the kids in public school allows me to work on those things.
Do I still feel guilty? Undoubtedly, but I think that’s just my normal state of being lol. I am trying to get better about it though. So I challenge you today as you walk through your day…have faith, stop and breath, and remember you are doing amazing. YOU were created to be exactly what they need.